This Father’s Day, a growing movement is encouraging fathers to recognize not only the joys of parenthood but also the importance of prioritizing their mental health. Many men face challenges in adjusting to fatherhood, often feeling pressure to remain the strong provider for their families while struggling with their emotional well-being.
Statistics reveal that approximately one in ten new fathers will experience perinatal mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, and stress-related disorders. Alarmingly, more than half of these fathers are uncertain about how to access professional help.
Personal Stories Highlight Struggles
For Luke Mac, a musician, the transition into fatherhood was particularly challenging. After the birth of his first son, he felt an overwhelming sense of bliss and inspiration. However, when his wife became pregnant with twins, the pressures of a high-risk pregnancy led him to take on the caregiving role for his toddler, sidelining his music career.
“When I started to realize these factors were affecting me and my mental health, I began to question why I would have the right to feel like that,”
Mac shared. He struggled with feelings of inadequacy, thinking,
“I didn’t just give birth, so I have no right to feel like this.”
The struggle to articulate his feelings to his wife left him feeling isolated. “A lot of my issues were about a loss of identity and trying to discover who I am outside of being a dad,” he added. This search for identity is a common theme among fathers navigating the complexities of parenthood.
Trent Gallucci‘s experience was similarly shaped by stress, particularly during his son’s premature birth due to placental failure. The isolation during COVID-19 lockdowns compounded his struggles, as he and his wife found themselves cut off from family support.
“My mental health really had to be put on the backburner… I realized something was wrong,”
Gallucci recalled. He felt guilt over his unhappiness, thinking he should naturally feel joy upon bringing his son home. Eventually, he sought help from the Gidget Foundation, a service focused on mental health for parents, acknowledging,
“It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do to swallow my pride and admit that I was not okay.”
Addressing Societal Pressures
According to Mathew Aquilina, clinical team leader at the Gidget Foundation, societal expectations often pressure fathers to be the unwavering support for their families. He noted, “There’s an existing body of literature around matrescence and the transition of women into motherhood but there’s not as much attention on the parallel experience of patrescence.” This lack of understanding can leave fathers feeling inadequate or ashamed for experiencing mental health challenges.
Father’s Day can also evoke reflections on personal experiences and relationships with their own fathers, which can be triggering for some. Aquilina explained, “If tricky stuff comes up about what being a dad means, Father’s Day is a time when that might come up.” Many fathers may struggle to articulate these feelings, adding to their emotional burden.
In a more lighthearted vein, ANZ forecasts spending on Father’s Day gifts to reach over 610 million AUD, a 3.45 percent increase from the previous year. This reflects a trend towards valuing experiences and thoughtful gifts, with many fathers likely to enjoy a special dinner or gifts like new socks or music.
Interestingly, women typically outspend men on Father’s Day, particularly in categories such as food and music. This year, women are expected to lead in gift-giving, while men traditionally spend more on Mother’s Day.
As families celebrate Father’s Day, it is essential for fathers to take a moment for self-reflection and to prioritize their mental health. Recognizing that their feelings are valid and seeking help when needed can lead to a healthier family dynamic and a more fulfilling experience in their parenting journey.
For those seeking support, resources such as Lifeline (13 11 14) and Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636) provide valuable assistance for mental health concerns.
