In a personal journey through grief and anxiety, Carol Lefevre discovered the transformative power of tai chi. Following the loss of her mother and aunt, she sought solace in a tai chi class after experiencing overwhelming emotions and an unsettling recovery period from cancer surgery. This decision marked the beginning of a profound exploration of movement and mindfulness, bridging ancient practices with contemporary struggles.
Lefevre’s journey began in a suburban community center where she felt impelled to enroll in a tai chi class. The decision followed months of grappling with dual bereavements and the aftermath of her health challenges. She describes her emotional state vividly, recounting moments when she felt on the brink of tears, often at the most inconvenient times. The emotional turmoil was compounded by concerns about her health, prompting her to seek alternatives to traditional psychological support.
Deborah Levy and Joan Didion serve as literary companions in Lefevre’s narrative, providing reflections on their own experiences with grief and emotional upheaval. Levy’s work resonated with her, particularly a moment of vulnerability experienced on an escalator. Didion’s accounts of her own tears in urban settings illustrated a shared struggle, highlighting the universal nature of grief.
As Lefevre engaged in tai chi, she found not just a physical practice but a pathway to healing. Tai chi, which originated in ancient China, intertwines movement with philosophy. Its roots can be traced back to the teachings of Chang San-feng, a 12th-century Taoist who observed nature to develop this art form. The practice emphasizes balance, relaxation, and the integration of mind and body, principles that resonated deeply with Lefevre’s need for grounding.
Connecting Ancient Wisdom to Modern Healing
Tai chi’s various styles, including those developed by Master Moy Lin Shin, focus on health benefits rather than combat. This aspect appealed to Lefevre, who was not particularly athletic but found the slow, deliberate movements comforting. The class atmosphere, complete with traditional Chinese pu’erh tea served during breaks, helped create a sense of community among participants.
Lefevre’s initial awkwardness transformed into a deeper understanding of her emotional landscape through tai chi. She reflects on the experience of practicing the move “Carry Tiger to Mountain,” symbolizing her effort to manage grief. This metaphor became a poignant representation of her journey, as she sought to carry her sorrow without being overwhelmed by it.
Studies have shown that tai chi can positively impact mental health, including reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety. The practice encourages awareness of physical sensations, emotions, and the interconnectedness of mind and body. This holistic approach appealed to Lefevre, who discovered that her grief was not just a mental burden but a physical reality embedded in her body.
From Personal Struggles to Broader Impacts
The significance of tai chi extends beyond personal healing; it has been recognized globally for its benefits. In 2020, tai chi was added to UNESCO’s Intangible Cultural Heritage list, underscoring its importance in promoting health and well-being. Research indicates that tai chi can help individuals with conditions such as Parkinson’s disease and multiple sclerosis, enhancing coordination and balance.
Lefevre’s reflections also drew connections to the experiences of others, including the late musician Lou Reed. Reed credited tai chi with saving his life, embracing its healing properties during his own battles with addiction and health issues. His dedication to the practice, including daily sessions and public demonstrations, illustrates the broader cultural relevance of tai chi in contemporary society.
Through her tai chi practice, Lefevre found a way to process her grief, drawing on the teachings of ancient philosophy while navigating the complexities of modern life. As she continues to develop her skills, she embraces the slow, deliberate pace of tai chi, recognizing it as a means to foster resilience in the face of loss.
In her journey, Lefevre discovered that grief is a multifaceted experience, encompassing both emotional and physical dimensions. The lessons learned on the mat extend into her daily life, bringing a newfound sense of calm and awareness. She illustrates the profound impact of tai chi not only on her personal healing journey but also as a testament to the enduring power of movement and mindfulness to connect us to ourselves and to others.


































