UPDATE: In a shocking act of violence, sports coach Paul Thijssen, 24, brutally murdered his ex-girlfriend Lilie James, 21, in a school bathroom at St Andrew’s Cathedral School in Sydney on October 25, 2023. This horrific crime has highlighted alarming patterns of technology-facilitated abuse that are becoming disturbingly normalized among young people.
Witnesses reported seeing Thijssen smiling and socializing with James just hours before he committed the act, raising serious questions about how easily overt red flags can be overlooked. Friends noted his obsessive digital tracking of James’s whereabouts, initially perceived as affection. However, experts now warn that such behaviors indicate a dangerous level of control.
Thijssen’s fatal attack included at least 25 strikes to James’s head and neck with a hammer, executed after he practiced the murder during several “dry runs” earlier that day, as captured on surveillance cameras. In a poignant statement, State Coroner Theresa O’Sullivan confirmed the murder occurred in the context of domestic violence, shedding light on the urgent need for effective measures to combat technology-facilitated abuse.
Experts, including domestic violence advocate Kate Fitz-Gibbon, have emphasized the necessity of immediate action. “In the midst of a national crisis of men’s violence against women and children, these recommendations should be progressed with urgency and supported with appropriate funding,” she stated during the inquest.
O’Sullivan’s findings revealed that stalking, particularly online, was a precursor in 41.5% of intimate partner homicides in Australia, according to data from the Domestic and Family Violence Death Review Network. Alarmingly, over 10% of individuals believe it’s acceptable to track a partner’s location during a relationship, illustrating a concerning mindset among younger generations.
The normalization of such behaviors has prompted organizations like Teach Us Consent to advocate for more comprehensive education on healthy relationships and the dangers of digital abuse. Chief Executive Chanel Contos stated, “We must take abuse online as seriously as we do abuse in-person. Young people deserve culturally relevant education about technology-facilitated abuse.”
O’Sullivan has backed the development of respectful relationship advice services, particularly targeting young men aged 19 to 24. As the inquest progresses, the call for educational initiatives and bystander intervention programs grows louder, aiming to prevent future tragedies.
For those impacted by domestic violence, resources are available. Contact 1800 RESPECT at 1800 737 732, Lifeline at 13 11 14, or the Men’s Referral Service at 1300 766 491 for support.
As this story develops, the community grapples with the urgent need for awareness and preventative measures against domestic violence and technology-facilitated abuse.
